How can I heal my past wounds?
Answer By Julie Gurner
Here are 5 steps to start out….if you commit to this, it will definitely give you some clarity:
Step 1: I Want You to Start With Who You Are *Today.* Ask yourself: “What are all the things that currently (right now) are impacting you from your past, that seem to make your experience different than other people?” For example, you may struggle with trust, intimacy, boundaries, etc..that might feel different than others. Get as specific as possible about the things you are struggling with *today* because of whatever might have happened in the past.
Step 2: Select One Thing From That List (from Step 1). You likely have a *list* of things you find that you are struggling with when you asked yourself the question from step 1. Choose *one thing* from that you really want to work on. For example: Maybe “trust” is something you want to take on.
Step 3: Break Down Something Small You Can Do To Make Progress. So, if the issue you are working on is “trust,” maybe just share one small (kind of insignificant) thing with someone and see how it goes. Test the waters a little. Take that first step. Take another step the next week…and maybe another the next week. Allow people to prove their trustworthiness (or not), and keep working at it.
Step 4: Keep Working on Your List. You know a lot of the wounds that you need to address (from step 1), so just take them *one at a time* (don’t do these all at once!)….break them down into steps…and work on them. Just start from where you are today, do some reading when you need to learn more, and break them down into steps you try to make progress on every week.
Step 5: Therapy! As you continue to work on your list or even early on, you might notice that you need some help on this or feel overwhelmed in some way…and that’s totally natural. While not everyone might need a therapist to work on some old past wounds, others might. If past wounds are the primary issue holding you back, find a therapist that has some experience in trauma, and that might really help you take it to the next level.
Hope this gives people some ideas and clarity moving ahead! And if you need some extra help or are experiencing symptoms that make this particularly challenging or hard to move forward — get a therapist (expert) to help you!
What does it look like when an INFJ is really angry?
Answer by Sammie Mochii
As an INJF myself, all I can tell you is never ever make an INFJ angry. You do not want to experience that. My friends always tell me that I can be very intimidating when I’m not in a good mood. So please, don’t make me grumpy..
Usually, when I start to get angry I just suddenly become quiet, that’s the First stage of getting me angry. Second stage I would just give a very deep ‘don’t you dare talk to me’ look. Third stage, I would most likely warn you like this,
‘Please just give me some alone time. I don’t want to yell at you…’
This is where you should stop because if you pass the third stage, you will regret it. The Fourth stage, an INFJ and I myself would start to yell and you do not want an INFJ to yell at you. You would most likely experience one of the scariest things. Usually, I’m a really chill person. I like to make people smile and laugh, but when someone gets me angry. I pull off a very different side of me, I would usually yell at you like this when you get to the Fourth stage,
‘What did I just tell you?! Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone! So, what are you doing right now, huh?! Can you just for once leave me the hell alone!!’
Although, after you experience that, an INFJ like me will most likely feel bad and apologize for their actions. I always do this after I get mad at someone, so please understand if an INFJ apologizes to you after an argument because INFJ’s are not intimidating or scary. They are actually really nice and caring people, but they only become scary when you get them mad. I don’t know if all INFJ’s are like this, but for me I’m not good with one to one apologies. Whenever I get angry at someone, I usually apologize with either a heart warming apology or a sweet long message that has been sent to you, like this,
‘Hey. I’m so sorry that I yelled at you. It was wrong for me to do that, and I know that I hurt you, I just lost my temper and I didn’t mean all those words. In fact you don’t even have to say sorry to me, I should be the one apologizing because there was no point of me yelling. Look, I’m not good with apologies so please understand, and it’s okay if you don’t forgive me. I deserve it.’
So please, don’t misunderstand an INFJ to be a scary person. We’re only like this when grumpy. That’s all for this answer, and I apologize that this isn’t a K-POP answer, I just wanted to try something different. Although, I promise my next answer will be K-POP related! I love you all!
your typical eunha enthusiast,
— sammie ❤
What are some passions of INFJs?
Answer by Sim Qian Hui
- Psychological (especially the minds of criminals)
- Things that make them curious
- Challenging problems (sometimes math questions)
- Causes for them to fight for (eg: animals, environment, equality)
Most importantly, is their dreams.
*This is just based on me (a low-key INFJ)
What are some hobbies that will heal an INFJ?
Answer by Arsha Thapa
Here are a few hobbies that might heal an INFJ :
- Writing — Most of the times, writing becomes convenient because INFJs think it’s easier to pen down their thoughts rather than express it to other people — especially because INFJs feel misunderstood. It gets heavy when they’re not expressing, so writing is an excellent way to find relief. INFJs also have a way with words.
- Daydreaming — They have a whole world created in their heads. The satisfaction they feel after a good daydream isn’t explainable. There’s a huge sense of satisfaction, positivity and energy cleansing.
- Spending time in nature — INFJs connect with nature. It brings similar results to daydreaming. They usually see both plants and animals as being equal to them. INFJs sense the energies that animals or plants carry. Mostly it’s good. It makes their healing and aura cleansing process easier.
- Meditation — INFJs cannot compromise when it comes to their alone time. It’s there for a reason. They need to make sure that they are in “in touch” with themselves. That’s why meditation is important. It’s a means to wipe off their dust and keep themselves clean.
- Music — It helps them feel calm within themselves. Even if it’s depressing music, perhaps INFJs need to feel a sense of calmness inside. Music does the thing. It helps INFJs face their emotions and deal with them.
- Reading — Reading helps INFJ realize things. They experience the book and go through what the writer goes through — like most readers do. New lessons are often useful for them when it comes to dealing with different aspects of life.
- Gardening — Most INFJs feel their connection with Earth and its elements since day one. Thus gardening is important. Although the process is messy, it creates a great deal of satisfaction and happiness for an INFJ. It’s also a way to cleanse energy.
- Drawing, painting etc — Like writing, this is also a way INFJs can express themselves freely without feeling like they’ll be misunderstood. INFJs put all of their feelings in the making of art and find themselves feeling better.
- Traveling — Go for a walk. Take your car and watch the beautiful sunset. Go to another city and roam around for a week. INFJs like to observe and experience. For them, it’s like understanding the world they live in. In an INFJ’s heart, traveling isn’t vague. It includes a lot of learning.
- Deep conversations — INFJs know that they’re not going to feel understood no matter how hard they try. But having in depth conversations about life — with close people — will definitely please an INFJ to a certain extent. Although it won’t practically heal them, it will make them feel good. They may find the strength to go ahead with their “healing” after having these conversations.
Thanks for the A2A Tamela Adams